Herring gull took out windscreen leaving only jaggy shards of perspex round the edges and gull feathers, blood, and snot round my pax. Made PAN call but couldn't hear reply due to noise in cockpit. Announced my intentions for immediate landing at nearest airport, changed frequency to suit (could hear their responses) and landed (to the open mouthed expressions of various students and trial flighters waiting on the apron).
Whole thing didn't take that long; subsequent paperwork did.