I think you have taken a really far to literal understanding of that..
The instructions for the missed approach may be assigned by air traffic control (ATC) prior to the clearance for the approach. If ATC has not issued specific instructions prior to the approach and a missed approach is executed, the pilot must follow the (default) missed approach procedure specified for the approach.
Is the plate a published missed approach procedure?
The literal approach is to do what the plate states and shows to do for a missed approach. It is that simple.