And not forgetting "wadda ya mean my flight left yesterday? Oh no, now how am I going to get to Auntie Jean's 100th Birthday in Barcelona, which I hasten to add I've only know about for 99 years so please forgive for getting the date wrong"!
ps. re the last Q. I'm sure they use an average weigth - it's not precise science - and if it's a Friday night commuter from Frankfurt/Milan etc add 50 kgs for hand language carried by those who cannot lower to wait at the carousel...