Frantic It's difficult sometimes, in print, to get your point across briefly without being misunderstood; to write about all the circumstances that caused you to take the decisions you did takes too long, yet to abbreviate your narrative risks the reader jumping to unjustified conclusions. Risks of the BB life, I'm afraid!
Anyway, no matter what has gone before, I entirely agree with your last post. This career isn't for everybody. It isn't even right for all those who'd like to have a shot at it. Even many of those for whom it is the ideal career will fall by the wayside for medical reasons, lack of aptitude, lack of application, lack of money or just plain lack of luck. As you say, you must have a back-up plan - and you should have a point (either in time or cash) beyond which you will not go unless there is a realistic chance of employment.
For some, for whom flying is the only career thay will consider, there is no such point - and good luck to them. But for most, practicalities and responsibilities will intervene. Like all prudent gamblers, you should set a 'stop-loss' point beyond which your own assessment of your potential returns outweighs your investment. Where that point lies depends on your own circumstances, the state of the market, and how much of a risk you're willing to take. That inevitably means that there will be those less deserving, but less risk-averse, who will succeed. That's life! Just be aware that, as in most things, flying training is a gamble and you can get in out of your depth. Hopefully, the market is set to improve and reduce the risk for many of you.
As for Master Yoda's point, it goes to show that you must look very carefully at what you are getting for your money. If School A is offering training to fATPL for 30k, check what you're not getting for your money compared to School B whose course is 50k. Look at the school's reputation, do a search here for others' opinions of that school. Go visit the school; ask about the facilities, what is provided and what isn't - accommodation, transport, books etc. What do those items cost if they're not provided? If they are, what quality are they? You get the picture...
Value for money is very important, but of course you shouldn't neglect the reputation and reliability of the school and its training. Not because some schools are 'worth' more than others to an employer - on the whole, they're not - but to protect your money! Look for those that offer 'escrow' accounts, or will allow you to 'drip-feed' payment - preferably by credit card, as the card provider is liable, to some extent, for the provision of the product or refund if the supplier fails!
There are many other things to be aware of and look out for, and a search of this site will provide most of the answers - but you'll need a day or two free to do a comprehensive search! I reckon the subject is important enough to devote the time to, so get to it.
Scroggs