(No.4): "I tell you, I chained a wheel to a lamp post when I nipped into a pub for a beer - and when I came out ......... !"
(this actually happened to a chap with an old MG sports car in Southport just after the war. Took his girl to the flicks, when they came out, the thing had been jacked up, chained wheel off, spare on - and away !)