My company has just sent me this memo:
The UK Department for Transport has required that with effect from 1st July 2003, all permanent full pass holders with access to the Restricted Zone must undergo a criminal record check at basic disclosure level.
In order to cope with the large numbers involved, the process for obtaining criminal record checks for existing staff will be phased in over a period of time. All existing staff will have to have undergone this check by 31st December 2003.
I will be distributing Disclosure forms to all staff with ID’s within the next week.
Once I distribute these forms could everyone please complete and return them to me within 5 working days.
I will then forward them to Disclosure Scotland.
The process to obtain a CRC check should normally take 10 working days.
When Disclosure Scotland return the forms to me I then forward them to the ID centre where they are verified.
Questions that come to mind include:
Should I admit to convictions for psychopathic mass murder, rape and torture, albeit that these only occurred during the period when I was a mercenary in foreign lands, well beyond the shores of the UK, or should I keep schtum ?
Does my period as a piano player in a Far East whorehouse count as criminal behaviour ?
If I ever happened to have smoked marijuana – but didn’t inhale
– does this make me a criminal ?
Should I admit to holding certain sympathies with various ‘freedom fighter’ organisations around the world, albeit that these are contrary to the position held by the presently elected UK government ?
If I’m proved to NOT have a UK criminal record will I now be able to take my 'Leatherman Multi-Tool' to work with me ?
Ps. ( hence the edit ) all hypothetically, of course.
