The God Special
Once a month the RSM was flown with a padre on board so that he could minister to his scattered flock along the Arabian coast. The R.C. padre was one father Sean O'Shea whose favourite tipple was brandy and Benedictine. The flight awaited his return from devotions in Riyan and Salalah before journeying on. He once stated that hearing confessions in Salalah was like being stoned to death with popcorn. On arrival for the obligatory night stop in Masirah he could entertain the crew with wicked stories. One night the turtles came ashore to lay and the station decamped with generators and lights from the pan and lots of libations. Much later the father, the wrong side of a few brandy and Benedictines announced to our amazement that the turtles never laid all their eggs at once. We were in awe of all this knowledge learned in Irish seminars. He then proceeded to meander down the beach to a female loggerhead at least twice his size who was just starting to cover up its clutch. We were all expecting some holy benediction when the reverend bent down near its earhole and shrieked "Lay some more eggs you stupid fecking turtle!" At his command the turtle started popping out more eggs and duly satisfied the padre meandered back with a beatific smile. God works in wondrous ways.