Originally Posted by
Willie Nelson
I love being a garden variety line pilot based away from HO. Apart from rostering and leave issues, life is very good for me.
Arrive at the blu emu 45 before sign on (still dark). Download plans while waiting. #3 busses turn up together doh. Review plans, F@$#, aircraft swap mid duty, no APU. Review all the BS A/C status, rafts, TCAS version, engine model etc.
Read reams of irrelevant notams looking for the needle in the haystack, the one that might be important. Laugh at irrelevant FSO’s, bio hazard kits, really. Get to A/C. No tech log as engineering are under the same pressure as us. Get 4 different zone reports, 7 interruptions from groundstaff, refueller, leading hand, engineering, cabin manager, groundstaff and cabin manager.
Discover error on ULA, get leading hand back, pax count doesn’t add up, recount, still no good. New COBT required now with delay. Discovered missing pax with bag. Offload bag, head count now good. Need leading hand back to cockpit to tell that locks are engaged. Groundstaff remind us that COBT is XX, thanks for that, really needed another interruption.
Yay, loadsheet complete and performance data calculated. Do best not to swear when asked what the reason for delay is. Push back and start. Taxi out, S^&#, runway change, new performance calcs, new SID, box setup, check that F^$@ing flap setting. Briefing, chart blah blah blah, OCP, THREATS???? Your kidding aren’t you. Checklist from QRH for changes after start required. Joke about Just Culture, just don’t F@$& up!!!
Finally get airborne, amended wx for destination, start fuel calcs for next sector, wx diversions, slow down, speed up, hold, cx hold, vector. Eat apple and muesli bar for breakfast while trying to talk on radio. Wipe up spillage from mic.
Arrive at destination, no marshaller, call groundstaff, on their way, ATC getting crapped off as you block apron. Get to bay, wait 5 minutes for stairs. Disembark. Change A/C to one without APU.
Rinse wash repeat x 4.
Finished. Wait for blu emu, wonder why so hungry, then remember there are no meal breaks and you only brought b’fast, no time to get lunch during day. Salmonella sandwich from the cart? No thanks. Home at 6 to mildly annoyed family as you have missed another important date because ‘ROF removed due coverage’. Collapse on couch, try to listen to wife, but really just want peace and quiet, bed by 9. Up again at 3:15 for day 2 of the pattern. 2 earlies, 1 arvo then BOC. 5 days on, 2 off. Cant get leave, cant get days off. Don’t get me started on the +9hr flight time BOC.
Seriously, how long can this last?