+1 to the Saitex Pro system. It's completely modular, so whilst a "full" set up is expensive, you can get the yoke and throttle for $170 and go from there - add rudder peddles, then the trim wheel, then add some instrument units, 1etc.
As for FSX Vs X-plane... that's almost a holy war even amongst non-pilots lol! Short answer: both are good, best one is the one that works for you. I've been 'playing' FSX for so long I'm biased towards it, but I do hear from most that try it that x-plane's physics are far batter (It is a far newer sim!).
If you're just looking for a simple joystick, I used the cheapo Logitech 3d pro for two years with FSX fine before upgrading to Saitek, so any of the $50 offerings from logictech/thrustmaster/etc would be fine I suspect. By the time you start getting to $100 joysticks, I personally think it's worth just jumping up to the full Yoke/throttle
