Dear Gus,
I never thought I'd have to write one of these letters but here I am, sitting in my favorite plush armchair at the Hong Kong Club, ready to fall on my sword. Quite a sobering experience. I'd better order another Grange.
My slight deviation from company procedures is that I've been crash landing planes 60 percent of the time over the last 3 years. Not just that either. Crash landing at random places all over the map. Some places you'd never even have heard of (but mainly in the Bahamas, Switzerland and other places where money moves hands freely with little oversight and zero tax).
But let's put that into perspective. As Ivan the Invisible would say, this means that I'm not crash landing, at the right airport, 40 percent of the time. Quite respectable really.
You may ask why I'm just writing to you after 3 years. Well, it seems these bent airframes scattered all over the planet is starting to get a few lips talking and I thought I'd get ahead of the drag curve with this one. So in accordance with our just reporting culture, I'm only just reporting now.
Just.
What lessons have I learned?
Bugger all really. I fear these bent airframes are going to keep appearing at all sorts of weird places for a few years yet.
What should the company do?
I'd expect no less than a bonus that at least doubles my agreed remuneration package to continue on as per standard operating procedures and normal practice. Also I should be allowed to retain my last 3 years of bonuses despite the fact I've no idea why they were paid at all.
Is this in line with industry best practice?
Not even close but here we try to operate to a different level. We have the CX standard. So that'll be a 5 thanks.
I'd better leave it at that and finish this lovely 1965 Hermitage as I'm working soon and may be AOD tested. From my plush armchair I can see some 9th floor chaps truly settling in for a session. Must be nice to be in a "non-safety" position.
Yours forever gratefully,
A Bonus Thief
(aka Fuel Hedger turned pilot getting my head around accountability (not just accounts))
Last edited by Progress Wanchai; 20th Mar 2017 at 02:54.