That "8 days off per month" routine. Typically it works like this, you arrive on your last day (say Monday) late in the evening around midnight, if not into the early hours of Tuesday. Then Tuesday is your "off" day and you will have a 1am report on Wednesday. Not much of a day off. Same goes for if you get two consecutive days off, so if you do get two days it's actually only one.
And forget getting more than two consecutive, unless you are willing to bribe a crew controller.
And that two weeks off carrot? Same thing, arrive very late your last day of work and be scheduled for a very early on your first day back. So that two weeks turns into 12 days, and if you are trying to commute will probably be 10 days actual.