The Wonderful Wessex, a machine which magically converted jet fuel into noise, vibration, electricity, friction, heat and cold with a little bit of energy left for the accomplishment of flight. It was made from a combination of unobtainium, corrodium and Tough Stuff.
I proved that it indeed was made of Tough Stuff on many occasions, but notably when a bunch of jolly naval aviators invited me, not being of the Senior Service, to attempt to land their Mk5 helicopter, which I was supposedly in charge of, on 1 Spot on the otherwise empty deck of the original and much loved Rusty B. This would have normally have been quite simple, except for the fact that the weather had precluded flying by the wise members of said Senior Service and they were not going to miss out on their little jape by allowing me the pleasure of a more comfortable landing on 4 or 5 spot. Hey ho, I am still here.... but there is more....
Such as. How to organise oneself an early lunch by casting the tracking flag on to the hangar roof by using only one tied down Wessex and its associated and by now mangled main rotor blade tips. Or. How to remove the tail rotor Gust Lock without having to bother climbing up on to the pylon. This involves engaging the main rotor first, which allows the 3 to 4 kg of Twangy Metal Gust Lock to disappear at an exceedingly high rate of RPM's and knots. Or. How to check out the flying properties of a Riley motor car by using only a few wire slings, an 8 foot strop, 1500 feet of unoccupied airspace and a Wessex Mk2. A truly wonderful and magnificent aircraft much loved by its crews.
Sadly, I cannot PM you, so if you wish any more, particularly with reference to the more esoteric technical bits, please PM me and we can go from there.
PS. We could start with the amazing windscreen wiper system, that did many things but this did not include wiping windows. There is so much more. RG