Well done, everyone, for your excellent entries in what was certainly a tricky competition.
My brother Jim has insisted we must award a "Special Mention for Improving Transatlantic Relations", which goes to Big Pistons Forever for his/her:
"If it is ugly it's British; If it's weird it's French; If it's ugly and weird it's Russian."
(N.B. BPF allegedly resides in Canada, birthplace of the 1927 "Canadian Vickers Velos", infamous as the ugliest and most worthless aircraft in the world, ever.)
In Third Place, for aptness in so many memorable ways, is MPN11's:
"Nav, are you sure this is Scampton?"
In Second Equal Place, for many reasons which I won't go into here, is Nutloose's:
"Dr Phleming escapes with his 70k wage bundles as XH558 completes its final circuit".
Also in Second Equal Place, for topicality, is Pontius Navigator's:
"And so President Elect, our BAE Quadrocopter with twin rotor and quad flotation pods is ideal for patrolling your border on land or sea."
But in First Place, for lateral thinking and Dyson-like inventiveness, is c52's:
"How it works? I got the idea from a children's toy. You wrap a long rope round the spindle, tie the other end of the rope to a Vulcan, and as the Vulcan takes off and flies away, the blades begin to rotate until it's flying."
c52 is therefore the winner of the Coffman Starter Trophy, which is in the post.
c52, you have control...