What a thread this has turned out to be!
Try this one, I call it: "Neither girls nor gold bars"
I had delivered a helicopter to Dublin Airport once a few years ago and I was wearing dark blue trousers/jumper and gold bars (4 as it happens). I then discovered that my return (to UK) flight had been booked from Belfast not Dublin, so I had to get the train to Belfast. So, in order not to look like a senior Navy Officer (and a potential terrorist target) I decided that I should remove my gold bars from my jumper before venturing out in to the public. Then, whilst on the train to Belfast, this little old lady comes over to me and says, you Prison Officers will get yourselves killed wandering about in uniform, you should know better!
What are we pilot's supposed to do?
Keep 'em coming,
Topter.