FP,
I have frequently harbored the same doubts as you.
Then I've read what this "decent person" has threatened. I've listened to what this "decent person" has bragged about (from her own mouth, on camera). I've waited patiently, and in vain, for this "decent person" to reveal the factual answers to some very simple questions and, most recently, I've read about how it is all everybody's fault apart from hers.
And I'll tell you what...before I knew a single solitary thing about her, I found the epithet "Bird in a Biplane" somewhat nauseating and once I'd seen a photo the thought..."self-deluded narcissist" sprang to mind.
So I'm afraid I'm struggling for the sympathy and empathy you require...and I assure I am more than averagely endowed with both those qualities, indeed throughout my career, the latter was commentated on many times.
I expect a great many professional and ex-professional aviators feel exactly the same and will continue to do so. Finally, I hold myself to my own standards and if something like this had unwittingly dragged me in, I would have put a stop to it in the proper way as soon as it became apparent it was snowballing. As would most on here. It's how we live our lives.