Some really good comments on here.
Staircase - excellent post, particularly the bit about the need to re-evaluate as life and the job changes. Monkfish - Think you hit the nail on the head.
I think I need to see a Doctor - I’ve been in 25+ years and still, on balance, enjoy it and think I have a cool job. Is there something wrong with me or is this what being Institutionalised means?
Looking back I see three distinct periods in my RAF career. The first few years when everything was cool, fast and exciting with money only required for SOUP (Single Officer Unnecessary Purchases), congregating in crowded bars and being a hopeless romantic. I couldn’t understand why all the ‘old uns’ were so unhappy about everything.
Then the middle pre-marriage and family part when everything was still fast but not quite as cool and exciting as it had felt before. Infact, you sometime felt misery. The Boss talking about 'responsibility' and 'career profiles' and the money only stretching further because of the time spent in places with little to spend it on (except on Weber BBQs, Ray Bans and Mountain Dew). Also, an increased dislike of crowded bars. But the world had changed and the new cool was doing the job for real.
And then the current third stage of marriage and young children. where I am now. Suddenly the cool and exciting part seems less important and the need to provide for the family is everything. The family is the new cool and being away is really uncool. But there is also a memorable day when you realise you have become an ‘old un' and actually enjoy being miserable. Also everyone on your IOT left 10 years ago or are 2 or more ranks higher...
I also understand there may be a fourth stage when the kids leave the nest?
Many have decided to leave during these stages for many different reasons and good luck to them. I have so far tried to make the RAF work for me and my family - contrary to popular belief I have found Desk Officers humans trying to do a hard job and, as such, open to an honest discussion and (for me anyway) a compromise that suits my needs and the RAF. One day, what the RAF want me to do, or the package they give me to do it, may diverge considerably from what's best for my family and I will leave without hesitation. This could be 6 months or even 6 years. Perhaps, like many, there may be that little final straw that breaks.
Ultimately, I have learnt two things
Lesson 1. It’s your life and you are unique – your decisions should be made on what you think is best for you and your family.
Lesson 2. Back to lesson 1.