For the cows wearing nappies one - not exactly but the effect of the fertilizer ban on hillsides above a certain gradient was indeed supposedly that cows would have to wear nappies to stop their dung being dropped as it is regarded as fertilizer.
Or of course simply not put the cows on such pastures anymore
Farmer makes cows wear NAPPIES after EU bans fertilisers on steep hillsides - Mirror Online
I suppose the EU rapidly rowed back from that one so goodnes know what happened to the hill farmers of Germany.
The Acres ban is quite clear cut.
The exemption that allows pints and miles and acres to be used in official documents was modified to remove the exemption for Acres.
So indeed all official documents must now use Hectares.
Any sale documents which want to quote acres must also quote Hectares.
The EU even confirms this is the case here:
Acres outlawed by Brussels - European Commission
The milk jug ban was indeed a fabrication - however the 2013 proposed ban on plain olive oil jugs in restaurants was not. Apparently they were to be in the original tamper proof factory packaging they came in. The resulting outrage in Southern Europe had the EU rapidly changing course on this one and kicking it into the long grass forever. So not surprisingly this one does not appear on the list.