And you haven't really addressed the issue of the stall characteristics of the rotor - your soft or dirty stalls don't correlate with the experience of retreating blade stall which will be the limiting factor of what the rotor system can produce.
If you try and pull through RBS, you will just aggravate the condition which will manifest itself as a pitching nose up and a roll towards the retreating side. Niether of the conditions you talk about (pulling hard to avoid the ground or overpitching without enough power) show any indications of RBS so the conclusion is that the rotor hasn't stalled and that coning angle is irrelevant.
In the case of the apache video, it is likely that more TRT was available because he still had speed (which you calculated to be circa 90 kts) to convert to additional load factor. There is no indication of RBS (no pitching or rolling) so no evidence that the rotor had stalled.