What must be remembered as far as ex/serving military aircrew is concerned is this.
He or she has been programmed/brain washed, to the point that believe they are the best. If they don't believe they're the best, then, in times of conflict, they are a looser. Nothing wrong with that! I hear you all scream. Quite right, nothing wrong with that, except when they cease to become public servants, they try and tell us civil mortals they are the best.
Apart from that, there is only:
the self-confidence, bordering on the arrogant,
the sarcasm and
the cockpit bullies
the culture that common courtesy is looked upon as a weakness, to deal with.
I've encountered a lot of ex military pilots in 35 years of aviation. I have experienced the above with the majority of them. There are exceptions of course, as some of them have been very nice people and quiet reasonable flyers IMHO.