As one of Her Majesties finest Ascoteers, your lifestyle choices are slightly at odds with the views of the management, the medical branch, the gymnasium staff and the Padre.
What is your attitude to the fitness test?
a) Fitness Test my @rse. It’s voluntary so what are they going to do about it eh? Hold up my promotion? Make me work the weekend? On the recent track record with pregnant WRAF’s, homosexuals & ethnic minorities they’re hardly likely to pick on the Fat Wheezy Boys with a Note From Matron. And what’s that bleep test all about? I failed the test for a 39 year old male but would have passed if I was an 18 year old girl. Where’s yer equal oportunities there, eh? Blah…blah…mumble…dribble. I wish we were a bit more like the Army (bluffing now) Sport for All. Wednesday afternoons, Jumpers for goalposts…not just encouraging the already fit people to get get fitter while becoming a burden to their workmates…
b) Well, I’d dearly love to be a bit fitter but I’m able to do my job, and if I lie low no-one will notice. I’ll get a grip one day, but it will be for my own good, and not for some silly bleep test. I’ll handbag it for another year and then I can fail the bike test. I’m giving up smoking as soon as I’ve finished this carton of Duty Free’s…
c) I think I’m anorexic, every time I look in the mirror I see a fat person looking back at me.
d) All of the above, in sequence, over a few years. Then, in line with MOD policy, you put enough work in to achieve the minimum standard you can get away with….and then you fail your hearing test!!
Finechap. I did take part in building that pallet but under the supervision of one of the senior loadies on the fleet. He's big and ee's black and I be afraid of 'im. I'll let him know of your criticism!
Those wooden bits sticking out the top were the legs of the 'Wench Bench' which has seen 2 wars, a lot of fag breaks and at least one copulation.