However given that the likely arms sellers to our possible opponents are already developing aircraft with similar stealth to F-35/F-22, then when you can "see" him, he can "see" you too. Doesn't that sort of cancel out?
It cancels out only if the opponents truly have stealth "similar to F-35/F-22." Not even the Russians and Chinese are making that claim. Their stealth capability is more akin to the Super Hornet's stealth, which is forward aspect only and somewhat limited at that. And beyond achieving that level of stealth, there is the issue of maintaining it in the field. Only one nation has ANY experience with maintaining stealth in an operational environment. It is no trivial matter.