The eternal CS 'rank' debate depresses me. It seems an MOD problem as no other dept I've worked in has ever been rank focused - e.g. I spent months working with someone before discovering they were a 1*.
I think the issue is the military is a visibly judgemental hierachy, by which I mean when people in uniform meet, they surreptitiously check out the rank patches to determine how to act. My experience has been that some areas and military individuals struggle to cope with people who don't wear uniform or hold a military rank - particularly civil servants.
At the same time, the CS has had since its inception a perfectly workable and functional rank/grade structure which predates the current RAF and RN structures, and which shows the level of seniority a CS holds (e.g. an
SEO is more senior than an HEO). This allows you to work out who reports to whom, and who is the boss. The problem has come because MOD has had to work out how the CS rank structure corresponds to the military one for reporting purposes. This has led to the abomination of a phrase 'XX Equivalent'. It doesnt mean person X is a Wg Cdr, it means they are an CS SO1 Grade, a subtle but very important difference.
My experience has been the people that say that they are a 'Wing Cdr' are doing it for two reasons. Firstly because they know just how easy it is to wind people up and get a bite with the military by doing so, and its very funny to watch. Secondly its because they are in the very very tiny minority of people who are a little bit strange and probably deserve our sympathy not abuse. A final category is the retired Officer, many of whom seem to make it up as they go (the old uniformed SO1 MSF who insisted on wearing his full Colonels rank tabs and being called Colonel was a classic in my experience).
Basically, extend the professional courtesy due to those civil servants promoted to the position in their system in the way they should show it to military officers in the same way. Then relax and worry about far more interesting things than the CS grade structure.Don't do as the Army has done, which is to recruit a CS Grade 7 (OF5 level) and tell them that their 1RO is a Major...