The smaller army regimental messes are (or were) a different kettle of fish to the large garrison messes such as Aldershot and Catterick. I visited a few when I was a young Rockape and found them very welcoming and comfortable. Not much civilianisation then, you were served by "soldier servants" as the army unashamedly called them (imagine the RAF talking about "airman servants"!) When you went into lunch it was one long table and you sat down at the next vacant chair, so you could find yourself chatting to the colonel, some crusty old major or a brand new 2nd lieutenant, so cliques of chums at mealtimes were avoided. I recall there was no choice - you had what everyone else had that day, like it or lump it - I usually liked it. No veggie option - I guess that vegetarians didn't exist in the army then!
Most small messes didn't have bars as such. Usually you had a steward who you ordered your drink from and who brought it to you in ante-room, although often in the evenings it was serve yourself, and sign a chit.
All very traditional and civilised, but having also visited Catterick garrison mess I have to agree with previous comments about the place.