Post Code Polka !
ian16th (as promised - I'm trying the Moderators' infinite patience - this is the end of this !)
Those were the halcyon days. Going out on a sunny morning in plenty of time for my appointment (for "Punctuality is the Politeness of Princes"), I would often stop on a moorland road, get out and enjoy the solitude for a few moments. There would be absolute silence, broken only by birdsong and the gentle bleating of sheep. Not another human being in sight from horizon to horizon. From a village in the valleys wisps of smoke might drift up from a farm or cottage chimney. Far to the East were occasional glimpses of the sea. ("Where every prospect pleases, and only man is vile" - have I got it right?)
It was just possible to be out of sight of Fylingdales, and Danby Beacon (the "Chain Home" towers) had been there so long that they were part of the landscape. Then on to find my farm. No easy matter, sometimes. Of course I'd done my best to get full instructions over the phone, but they were of the nature of "Go on through village, turn right by church, go down t'lane till Black Bull, turn left and go up hill. Tha can't miss us lad".
Oh yes, lad could. But I always found the farm in good time and was welcomed as before. (Noted position of "Black Bull", as would probably be "doing" that next month). Then I could often put a smile on the weatherbeaten old face before me. Farmer often has to buy expensive machinery (say £36,000 Combine). Yorkshiremen hold on to t'brass. It would be on finance.
But the "supply" had taken place: he was the owner in law, and entitled to treat as "Input Tax" (and recover from us) all the VAT on the whole price (£6,000 at current rates), notwithstanding that it formed only a small element in his monthly repayments. (At the same time we would "do" the supplier for the whole £6,000, so it balanced). What arrangements supplier, farmer and moneylender had made between themselves was none of our business. (If the Revenue had to wait till money changed hands before it got its share, it might have to wait a very long time ! So we don't do it). I would get strawberry jam on my scone that day.
I always recorded on file the exact 6-figure Grid reference of the farmhouse, and told the farmer's wife to put away a note of it carefully. Who knows ? One future winter, the place is nine feet deep in snow, nothing can get to it by road, there is a medical emergency at that farm. But the phones are still working....The rescue helicopter is on its way, but where is the farm ? "Black Bull" is just a hillock in the snow. But farmer's wife remembers, little scrap of paper is fished out, the vital six figures passed to the chopper, the day is saved ! VATman/BATman hero of the day, appears on BBC "Look North" (well I can dream, can't I ?) Of course, the reference was for our own use. One day I, or somebody like me, would need to go back up there.
Two or three years later, all turned to ashes. Some busybody in Whitehall, with not enough to do, noted that all the N.Yorks farms were on YO post codes. But Middlesbrough VAT Office was on TS. Shock, horror. They should be in York's purview. York had a VAT sub-office at Scarborough. Transfer all the files to Scarborough. I would be up on the moors no more. No matter that Middlesbrough had better and quicker access to the area from the North than Scarborough had from the South, and we could service the North York moors far more efficiently. Whitehall had spoken - tremble and obey.
I hope the Scarborough VATmen/women found my Grid Refs useful.
Danny.