A philosopher is defined as a blind man in an unlit cellar at midnight searching for a black cat that isn’t there.
A theologian is identical in all respects save that he believes he has found the cat.
A lawyer, naturally, would smuggle the cat under his coat in order to brandish it theatrically when it best serves his purpose.
A scientist would accept the non-existence of the cat but be at pains to point out that its non-existence could only ever be assumed; never proven.
An engineer would briefly search for a cat and then employ his time more productively by constructing a superior cat replacement from the materials available in the cellar.
A soldier would shoot the cat to protect the liberty of the mouse, unless he was American in which case he would conduct a shock and awe campaign to win the heart and mind of the cat and (in the process) accidentally shoot the mouse.
PDR