Wow - this response has been incredible, it means a lot, thank you all.
Just knowing that I am not alone helps (somehow). Getting an answer to the question 'how am I doing, really?' is like getting blood out of a stone with my instructor, and it is reassuring hearing that taking some time is common.
Fantastic suggestions from you all. The concept of trying some not-landings is excellent and I can really see how this would help me a great deal. I love this and will suggest it!
I think getting a cross country in to another environment (with coffee and cake) is a good start. I do feel as though tapping back in to my reasons for doing this will help greatly, and will remove us from the high-pressure of my normal busy airfield. (@MrAverage, I am learning at Staverton/Gloucestershire)
As far as getting some lessons in with an alternative instructor, I agree. I think a fresh set of eyes will help, and the perfect timing is coming up in June when my usual instructor is away on holiday. I will use this as an opportunity to ask for a session with another instructor I have in mind.
Feeling a lot more positive about my future as a pilot now, and less like bashing my head against a wall. Glad to have found this forum - thanks for the warm welcome.
@Johnm - thank you for the book recommendation, thanks to Amazon it arrived this morning, so I'll be sticking my head into this later.
@India Four Two re: "finals" thank you for pointing this out! Not sure where I picked that up from, but glad to correct it!