Seeing as cricket has been mentioned.........
Early '80's, the Prince Andrew 'attends' RNEFTS at Topcliffe, training on the Bulldog, prior to do stirring stuff 'dahn sarf'.
Oi/c Cricket at RAF Leeming (TP's parent unit) decides it would be good for his promotion prospects (Oi/c Cricket, not HRH's) if an Officers vs Leeming First XI match could be organised.
The 'wheels' agreed to this. Indeed the then Staish and most of the 'heads of sheds' would play.
The first XI however, were not impressed.
Surprisingly, there were a considerable amount of Yorkshiremen amongst them. It meant having to clean up the pavilion, having to cough up some cash to pay for 'drinkies' for the 'wheels', (the Staish being almost Yorkshire, short armed, deep pocketed) and worst of all, having their whites white for once. Even worse, the SWO was rumoured to be an umpire, so haircuts had to be endured. As it happened, the SWO was otherwise engaged so the monies spent on haircuts further drove the first XI to inimpressedness.
Spies had been sent to the Officers Mess "What does HRH drink?", "Ginger Ale" came the reply. "Bugger" said Freddie the Frog, the cricket teams SAC barman "We don't sell that". "I'll sell you a case" says OM manager. "Bugger" says Freddie the Frog,the cricket teams SAC barman having to pay for the case himself.
Come the day.
The pavilion gleams, the smell of liniment has dispersed, the visiting teams 'facility' has been domestos-ed and scrubbed.
The Ginger Ale is on prominent display at the bar.
Play commences. First XI win the toss and elect to bat.
Staish invites HRH to open the bowling, mumblings of "creep" come from the remaining first XI (IX?) left at the pavilion bar. What fool decided to open the bar, God only knows.
At the first ball bowled, a raucous voice yelled out "Bowlers name, bowlers name" for it was the Scorer, one Sniffing Bob the BCU Cpl and official scorer. He too had access to the pavilion bar.
In actual fact, HRH turned out to be a useful bowler. The Staish, at the other end, didn't. He was hit all over the ground. Wg Cdr's and Sqn Ldr's were running after ball after ball. Bear in mind this was in Support Command so most of the wheels suffered from the 3 F's, Fat, Forty and Fags.
Oi/c Cricket is beginning to realise this isn't going well and starts to edge back to very, very deep square leg. In fact, any deeper he would have been standing in an AMQ back garden.
Come the end of the 30 overs or whatever. The teams retired to the pavillion for refreshment and a sandwich lunch. NAAFI Corned Beef sandwiches. Freddie the Frog, the cricket teams SAC barman cum caterer really excelled himself.
HRH approached the bar. "Could I have a Coke?" he asked Freddie. "A Coke, A Coke" yelps Freddie "We've a case of Ginger Ale for you!". "I'd rather like a Coke" replies HRH. Begrudgingly, Freddie hand over a Coke "That'll be 50p" he announces. HRH turns to his police protection officer and is slipped a £20 note which he proffers to Freddie. "£20, £20 I can't change that, what do you think this place is?"
At this point, Oi/c Cricket (who can see his career going down the pan rapidly) coughs up 50p.
To avoid further cough, cough awkwardness, the Staish escorts HRH to the scorers bench to view the score book.
The scorer, one Sniffing Bob the BCU Cpl, overawed by the arrival of Royalty, oh and Prince Andrew, opens the score book for perusal. There, recorded for all prosperity, was the ball by ball account of the first innings. Alas, Sniffing Bob the BCU Cpl and scorer, had recorded in said tome that the opening bowler was one ANDREW WINDSOR.
HRH wasn't having that, nor was the Staish. Oi/c Cricket was sent for, words were spoken, one career went further down the pan. Sniffing Bob the BCU Cpl and scorer was ordered to alter the opening bowlers name to HRH THE PRINCE ANDREW. After all. the score sheet could go down as part of RAF Leeming history.
Come the turn of the 'HRH (and Staish) XI' to bat. Funny old thing but HRH and Staish opened the batting. Oi/c Crickets career went further down the pan when, on hearing the fielding side (the Leeming First XI), clapping the two openers onto the field, a Yorkshire accented voice announced from Short Leg "Gi'ower. Tha claps the buggers goin' out, not comin' in".
Alas, the Staish and the rest of the heads of sheds were more or less seen off in short order. Although HRH did some useful work with the bat and was still there at the end.
After the match, none of the Officers stayed for post match drinkies. Including Oi/c Cricket. Fg Off Roy o'H***. The First XI often wondered if he made Flt Lt.
Further, Sniffing Bob the BCU Cpl and scorer, decided that his original scoring record was correct. So he scored a line through HRH THE PRINCE ANDREW and inserted STET.
Oh, just to add. How do I know all this..........
I was one of the umpires.
Happy (and safe) New Year to all.
Last edited by taxydual; 31st Dec 2015 at 18:14.
Reason: Speeling and scorer's finale