The Mark One Summer Bollock.....
You and your cronies get invited to the Boss's MQ for pre-Ball drinks. That drags on a bit and the wimmin start looking a bit peeved. So you all depart as a sqn gorilla long after the event was supposed to begin and barge into the OM. After necking a couple of glasses of the 'welcoming cocktail', you fall upon the seafood. Unfortunately the blunties and non-aviators have nicked all the prawns and recognisable creatures, so you're stuck with cockles and odd-looking small sea monsters. The tarts look even more pi$$ed off, so you leave them to natter about knitting and kittens or whatever and head off for the bar to chat to your mates. Eventually guilt sets in a few hours after the expensive band has bogged off, so you drag some unsuspecting wife off to the disco for a few minutes of alcohol-induced groping. After getting told rather forcibly to remove your hands from the curvier parts of her anatomy, you decide to have another sherbet. Or two. Then find the second food sitting clutching a couple of bottles of foul-tasting European wine-lake filth called something like 'Dom Kellerschitz'. An hour or two go by whilst you scoff and quaff, then it's time to drag another unsuspecting bint to the darkened disco. Stepping on her toes and dribbling down her cleavage does not quite have the desired effect, so it isn't long until you seek further solace in the bar with your chums. Then you seek out the so-called 'Oriental' food bar...but as the food is rather salty, you need to repair to the bar to find something to wash it down with. Then you remind the other half that she's got to saty shober, becosshh she'll be drivinnngg.....
About dawn, someone mentions 'Eggy bac's' - so it's off to the dining room for bacon, eggs, sausage, mushrooms, tomatoes, fried bread, long strong black pudding - and a couple of beers or, if you're a JP trying to charm the knickers off your girlfriend, a morning bottle of champagne. But it's not long before you are reminded in words of half a syllable that "IT'S TIME WE WENT HOME".....which you do. And then the following April, many more RAF babies are born.......