You are the most senior of a group of Junior RN non flying officers whose SHAR squadron is trooping from Brize to the Med to join their CVS for a major exercise in Mid east. Brize accomodation is full so squadron will spend the night before flight in a trooping base about 20 mins from Brize Norton.
On arrival you are informed that Officers, NCO's and ratings will all share the same accomodation overnight, two 60 man rooms with bunk beds, mattresses no thicker than 1 inch, negative pillows, 2 showers for 120 men and women. On seeing spartan state of accomodation fellow JO's turn to you for leadership and guidance.
Do you
a) Go in search of nearest clip board weelding RAF NCO and demand proper accomodation be found for the Officers.
b) Phone CO on his mobile, explain lack of suitable accomodation for Officers and get authorisation to use Squadron credit card to pay for B&B in town.
c) Tell fellow JO its life in a blue suit, the parlous accomodation will suffice for one night, and it will help develop "character".
d) Decide to take fellow JO's for curry run and beers in nearby town on the basis that when we return they will be inebriated as much as to no longer care about state of accomodation. At 2330 return in taxi, through different entrance from that which Pussers transport delivered you in. Stumble upon back entrance to what appears to be Officers mess. Find a number of rooms unoccupied at rear of mess, bedding sufficient, showers ample. Send Sub Lt Holdover to retrieve overnight bags. Sleep in Officers mess. Awake fellow JO's at 0500 in time for breakfast. Order them to remake the beds as they were found, hospital corners and all, leave Officers mess, switch off lights, not leaving a shred of evidence behind (not so much as a pubic hair in the showers). Proceed to breakfast and bus to Brize, enjoy 2hrs 30 flying time onboard one of RAFs finest. When asked the next day by Squadron Reggie where you were the last night, you tell him you got taxis and went for a night on the lash in Oxford, hence the slightly dishelved appearance and flatulence that morning.
The perfect crime.