There are many different types of instructor in military flying training.
Personally, I prefer the harsh but fair ones and respond better.
I find civil flying instruction generally too huggy-fluffy. You can sometimes have trouble knowing how you are doing.
"that's fine" when you know it isn't is very irritating and destabilising.
All that said, the worst example of instruction I saw was on that suzi air programme with the new pilot getting abused by some w@nker instructor on his first circuit in the aircraft.
Harsh is ok, but only if fair.