ROE were never intended to protect the military. They were intended to protect civilians. I won't deny that they can get a bit ridiculous - I think Afghanistan was proof of that.
Never? Then apparently Vietnam never happened. The RoE over Vietnam that required visual identification of an aircraft before one could shoot at it totally negated the advantage in BVR weapons USAF and USN enjoyed at the time, and likely resulted in many unnecessary losses. Not to mention resulting in programs like Top Gun to teach dog fight skills to pilots not trained for it. And that visual ID requirement was not to protect civilian airliners.
Ground forces ROE are (generally) a different matter.