I'd like to see a blacklist for pax who can't make the gate on time, but that's a bit of a tangent.
Occasionally, the idiots are beaten at their own game. The following appeared in the Athens News several years ago, retold by Private Eye:
"My boss, N****** K****** , was running very late for his flight to Brussels," his personal assistant told a court in Athens, "and he was worried that he might miss the plane. About an hour before it was due to take off, he came into my office and asked me to telephone Axon Airlines anonymously, and tell them that there was a bomb on board his flight. He thought that this would delay the plane until he got to the airport. I wasn't very happy about the idea, but he is my employer, so I obeyed him."
Speaking during the trial of her boss, the assistant (whose name was withheld by the court) explained what happened next. "I called Axon, and I didn't give my name. I simply told them that I was calling on behalf of Mr N****** K****** , and then read out the message he'd written: 'This is not a joke, someone is preparing to put a bomb on your 3:30 flight to Brussels.' Then I put the phone down. My boss left for the airport, and he was arrested as soon as he arrived, and charged with attempted murder. I suppose the airline people must have noted his name down, when I telephoned. I wasn't surprised, but I'd done exactly what he'd asked me to do, and I feel that I acted professionally throughout."
Mr K****** was sentenced to seven months imprisonment, but paid a fine and was set free. He sacked his assistant immediately after the trial.