... I wouldn't be surprised if hurling carry-ons down the slides turns out to be implicated in some of those injuries.
Exactly. And if the relevant people won't prosecute those who have carried bags off,
in direct contravention of instructions given and therefore breaking the law, then any passengers who have been injured by bags should sue the person whose bag injured him/her. A few very high profile cases (excuse the pun) will be needed to make the point. Stupidity is no excuse for endangering others.
As has been said before, you can keep your passport and you wallet in your pockets. All else is less important than a life. And an additional bit of common sense (that a couple of posters have already pointed out) is to keep your shoes on for take-off and landing: would you really want to be escaping over possible broken debris in you bare or 'socked' feet?
I just cannot understand the stupidity of people posting on here who somehow feel that carrying bags off in a situation like this is in any way condonable.