A certain RAF Loadmaster was working down the back of a C130. An Army Major called "I say, Staff....STAFF!"
The Loadie ignored him.
"STAFF...STAFF! I'm talking to YOU!"
Loadie says: "Oh, do you mean me, sir? I'm a Flight Sergeant, not a Staff Sergeant..."
Major: "Well, Flight Sergeant, if you were in the army, you'd be a Staff Sergeant!"
Loadie: "If I was in the Army, sir, I'd be a Brigadier!"
- Shy Torque 27 Jul 15
Which reminds me of an exchange about ten years later in the RAF:
Army officer to Argosy FE: "I say, Staff Sergeant . . "
FE: "I'm a Flight Sergeant, Sir."
AO: "Ah, if you were in the Army you'd be a Staff Sergeant."
FE: "No, Sir, if I was in the Army, I'd be a Brigadier!"
Boom, boom!
- Basil 24 May 15
I was sat on, erm, a Nimrod C130 once, next to a SNCO - mate of mine -manning the door gun. This army Brigadier was shouting "Staff! Staff!" to get his attention.
Well, my mate was having none of it until the Brigadier was right in his face. The Brigadier asked if he was ignoring him, my mate said he didn't know it was him being called as he was a flight sergeant, right?
So the Brigadier said, "Well, if you were in the army, you'd be a staff sergeant."
And my mate said, this is brilliant, "No Sir, if I was in the army, I'd be a Colonel." We were in stitches honestly. Legend.
- Scuttled 19 Dec 2011
Topcliffe, early 80's. RAF training Royal Navy to fly on an Army Base.
RAF Flt Sgt B***e stood in the middle of the Bulldog line watching the see off's.
Enter Army major (with obligatory dog), being rather unsure of where to go, the Major calls to the Flt Sgt.
Maj: "Staff Sergeant."
Flt Sgt ignores the Major.
Maj: calls again (but louder) "Staff Sergeant, Staff Sergeant"
Flt Sgt ignores the Major.
At this point the Major takes his life (and his dog's life) in his hands and marches across the apron, dodges between the taxying Bulldogs and collars the Flt Sgt.
Maj: "Staff Sergeant, did you not hear me calling you?
Flt Sgt: "Oh, I'm sorry sir, but I'm a Flight Sergeant, not a Staff Sergeant"
Maj: "If you were in this Regiment, you would be a Staff Sergeant"
At this, Flt Sgt B***e responded
"No Sir, if I was in your Regiment, I would be a lieutenant Colonel"
- Taxydual 10 Apr 08
Telling the chaps at work today of this site I heard one about a Lt Col travelling baggage class in a Herc. As the loadie was walking aft,the Lt Col called out 'Staff....Staff'
The loadie chose to ignore him and carried on his way.
Job done, the loadie makes his way up front again and once more the agitated Lt Col calls out 'STAFF....STAFF'
The loadie has had enough by now and says 'Look, I am Flight Sergeant, not a bloody wooden stick'
To which the Lt Col says 'If you were in the Army, you would be a staff sergeant, hence STAFF'
The loadie smugly replies..'If I were in the army I would be a Lt Col!'
- Satco's Whipping Boy 8 Sep 2000
Come on chaps - do make your mind up!
Looks like C130s win, - at least for as far back as I'm prepared to look after less than five minutes looking - but I can't help feeling that Scuttled may have got a little bit confused.....
Jack