Very well, time to call this one.
Honourable mentions to DANNY42C for the sheer bulk of entries, Fox3WheresMy Banana with
"Hello? MoD? I think you'll find the Minister meant to send a My Little Pony to his daughter, Amy; A-M-Y, no 'R'"
"Yes, we know that now, but she refuses to give back the tank, so you are stuck with it"
and Wensleydale for
No sergeant...when I said "Charge him" I meant put him on defaulters!.
Bronze goes to Hempy, for
The CO is directly behind me, you say?
Buster takes silver with
"...yep, got it...wind it up...check...wait, what? I put the key where???"
...and gold, with certificate for loquatiousness, goes to Fox3WheresMyBanana, for
"Well, I'll admit I'd 'ad a few. Last thing I remember I was in the bar at The Prancing Pony. I wake up this morning and I have no car, no wife, about 40,000 Roubles in large denomination notes, and an armoured horse.
And an Invite to Marquis of Cholmondley's Ball.
Tonight.
Dress: Leather."
F3WMB, you have control.
Many thanks to Coff for enlightening me on how to post pics.