A proposition...
Winstun, I am really considering retiring.
Being a nemesis of the US just isn't what it used to be, especially with trademarks like Bin Laden and his associate Al Quaeda taking all the spotlight. I could never quite crack the global spotlight like those guys, and frankly, at my age I am starting to think that I would rather spend my twilight years sleeping on a soft mattress, maybe even buy one of those modern Beta Video Cassette Players and hang out with Caucasians once again - just to get back to my roots.
I was therefore wondering if you would be interested in my current position.
You would have your own Montagnard army, who would worship you like a god, and follow every order however ridiculous.
You would no longer have to deal with drivelling fools questioning your methods.
No need to write. Just come up the Nung River wearing a yellow tie, and we'll find you.
Seriously.