I have to say that I have completely different experiences.
Besides the time (obvious nepotism
) when I got a whole bag of presents from an unknown purser and her crew (she was of Serbian nationality and had the same name as I do, but never came to meet me. Her crew loved her, obviously), whenever I was travelling, crew paid special attention on me, whether by bringing me presents (chocolate, water, socks, toothpaste and brush), or by giving me a fast track voucher or by speaking with me and giving me complimentary things.
There was even one grumpy guy once, crew, who helped me put my bag up and he was reluctant to help other passengers (he didn't know I was staff at that time and he was clearly fed up with everything). He continued to behave in the same manner during the flight.
I never asked for anything during my flights. I didn't behave spoiled or ask for additional things and I always tried to ease their job in any way I could.
Regarding staff travel, as I was once working there - staff travel employees are not guilty for putting you on standby even if there are hundreds of seats available: it's a company rule. Check in staff can check you in, but system automatically puts you on sb. Flight departure control staff are the only ones who can on-load you.
There is one thing though: sometimes you don't get a seat even if half of the flight is available (economy class) as they (flight departure) lift pay load restrictions (flight gets additional cargo), so there is no room for additional passengers (staff). Happened to me with the flight to Rio (half of the flight was empty), and almost happened with the flight back from Nairobi (they lifted restrictions, but had the courtesy (?) to on-load staff).