Lee Kuan Yew's point of view/SIA
Due to current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, I have decided to implement a scheme to increase my profits and the profits of my Royal Family.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire ALPA-S People Early).
Persons selected by lack of merit to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED can also get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants of Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.
Persons staying on will receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.
The government of Singapore has always prided itself on the amount of **** it gives the employees of SIA.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough ****, please bring it to the attention of your management. They have been trained to give you all the **** you can handle.
Sincerely,
Lee Kuan Yew