I live in AUH (abu dhabi) as well and I know nothing of these porn channels on sattelite tv. Where, how???
As to the net and porn, I have heard guys use AOL to get round the proxy server filters but most of us just use Kazaa and the like to get our fill. Not that I'd do anything like that being a married man and all
A bit of imaginative packing with cd's/dvd's etc, ie. Inside computer software packaging maybe. and you should have no problems. To be honest I've gone through Dubai twice and still aren't sure where customs is, cos noone looked at my bags at all.