Hi, not to sound bleek but how can you say at your age " I've given up the dream without even trying??" Seriously with that attitude I wouldn't even start!!
You say it's all you've ever wanted but if that was the case you'd fight, get knocked back, pick yourself up and fight on for it.
A true aviator would fly carrying pigs
if they had to purely because they love to be in the air and would do what it takes to achieve their goal.
What you DON'T want to do is get into your later years, look up at the skies and say "I could have done that"
You have one life time! My true advice to you is if you if its your real passion and you don't just want to impress your friends with a uniform, then I would get focussed, blank out those negative people and say to yourself "where there's a will there's a way" you"ll find its the real enthusiastically, NO and CANNOT is NOT IN MY VOCABULARY and I will succeed and get work are the people that go all the way.
After all someone has to get the job why not let it be YOU!!
I will tell you a true little story! When I was young I had a horse and was so afraid of failing I said to my dad "I'm not going to win anything" with that and having booked to go to a show the next day my dad said "right I'm going to cancel transport and you're not going to go" I got in a real panic and was upset as I could see he really meant it, so I said why not? He said to me "well with that negative attitude I'm not wasting my money just for you to go and fail" so after an hour and a stern word with myself I said "dad please let me go" he said why. To which I replied I'm going to win a rosette. He said ok but I don't want to hear anything other than I will win. That night I talked myself into I will I can I will I can and bloody hell the day of the show I came back with a Silver Cup, yep I did it. After that on the horse circuit I became a name that others new and others then said as I overheard "oh god it's her again we don't have a chance" so think about that!