Back in 1966 ....
.....in preparation for the defense of Ballykelly over the anniversary of the Dublin Easter uprising we were dispatched around the country to pick extra police men and dogs from other stations.
My crew went to Kinloss and on the return leg the aircraft was jampacked with plods and dogs (neither of them looking particularly happy at the prospect of four hours round the north of Scotland).
At some point down the outer hebrides I decided to venture down the back to make tea and coffee. And as was standard vaulted over the rear spar and landed firmly in the galley. One dog who was awake (they'd been sedated a bit) tied to his sound asleep handler, sprang at me (trailing his handler) and got me fair and square in the chest. Absolute bloody chaos erupted in that confined space - shouting policemen, snarling dogs (now all awake) me shouting "get this f889ing savage off me" (it was muzzled). Eventually calm was restored with a lot of cursing and kicking.
I never did make the tea and coffee.
Later during the first night shift as they patrolled the dispersals one of the dogs peed on a sodium lamp, was severely shocked and savaged his handler. That IS a true dit.
The Ancient Mariner