Retractable probe on the Bucc
The problem with the retractable probes on the early Mk I was not that they didn't work - they extended and retracted fine - but that they were too short. As you approached the basket it rode up in the slipstream over the nose. The only person who ever achieved contact ('Punchy' Doust?) chased the basket all the way round before making contact inverted, which, for some reason, wasn't considered satisfactory.
When you extended the thing, an elaborate system of doors opened, the probe emerged and the doors closed behind it. In the days of the Great White Detergent anti-flash paint jobs, a Bucc was sent down to somewhere crabby to stand in a line of similarly painted V-thingies for the benefit of a team of senior NATO chaps to look at. The crew extended the probe to show the aircraft had one. After the senior honchos had passed, an RN Captain was left standing, staring at the probe.The looker asked him if he had any questions.
''Yes. I can see the aircraft has a probe. But how on earth does it retract and extend?''
''Well'' explained the looker helpfully, ''it's a bit like the Duchess of Argyle reaching inside someones Y-fronts.''
The Captain looked at him coldly for a moment.
''She's a cousin of mine, as it happens''
The looker was left contemplating the possible ruin of his career.
(I doubt if anyone under the age of 70 will understand)
Last edited by Schiller; 7th May 2015 at 20:51.