"So what do you think, my name in lights, Orville and Joe Swo... or Joe Swo and Orville?
Mind you he's gonna have to get his hair cut and woe betide anyone in the audience slouching and not having clean shoes....I'll 'ave em!"
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So there he was, he 'ad his 'and right up the back of this duck like this, Orville I think 'is name was and I said "F*ck a duck" and the bloody duck only spoke back to me and said 'e wasn't being f*cked, but 'e was being fisted"