After some deft telephoning, you have manged to convince Ar$ecoat that the place where you're due to attend a static display wants you to come a day early. This you duly do, then, knowing that you have the next day off, you and your crew go out on the pi$$..........
At some god-forsaken early hour, the duty Ar$ecoat bloke rings you to let you know that the small tropical depression which was due to pass 200 miles away has had a change of mind. It's now a hurricane and it's due in a couple of hours. He wants to know what you intend to do about it. Do you:
a. Answer the phone, say "Tell it to f*ck off - and you with it!"
b. Attempt to wake up a skeleton crew, find your groundcrew and arrange taxis to the airport 45 minutes away so that you can bravely fly off somewhere else whilst totally $hit-faced.
c. Ring the airport, get a second opinion regarding the approaching hurricane, tell them that there isn't a hope in hell of getting away before the hurricane arrives but would they please lash the chocks in place and clear loose articles away from the vicinity of the aeroplane. Then hope for the best, roll over and go back to sleep.
d. Watch the palm trees whizzing past the hotel window. Then go down to the basement and play bingo whilst the hotel band plays the only tune it knows!
Well, that was Bermuda and we went for option c followed by option d. But the next day we found that the ac had been for a little walk on its own and had slight cosmetic damage to a pod impeller and a scratch on a slat section. The good news was that it meant an extra lunch whilst the groundcrew checked the ac! As insurance from the armchair theorists we took back a copy of the met man's bollocksed up chart and a copy of that day's newspaper stating that the little tropical depression was going to pass well south of the island and 'slight breezes may be noticed'! Then on to Sacremento, Hawaii and back via El Paso and Pease.
But no-one ever suggested that we should have done anything differently - and the boss thought it was hilarious!