'ridiculous expectations'?
Hardly.
Seems an entry-level requirement to me.
Would any genuine commercial pilot beg to differ?
Sorry to burst your bubble, but your expectations are unrealistic and, frankly, ridiculous.
Life is unpredictable, and so is air travel.
No 2 flights are exactly alike, and even if they are similar to each other for 99.9%, there will always be something unusual or unexpected.
And that's exactly the reason why we have humans in the cockpit and not computers. With so many variables playing in every flight, it is downright impossible to predict every possible scenario like you suggest.
If we could do that, pilots would be replaced by computers already. That might happen, but not anytime soon.
I suggest you review your expectations.