This is sad all the way around. Following an extended family tragedy, in which two cousin kids were killed in a car accident on the way to a family Christmas, I rethought my airplane as a mode of family transport to "big" events. My personal choice is to reduce the use of my airplane, and greatly increase my personal minimums, when seasonal or big family events are involved.
When my daughter was married here at home, not only did I not fly, I blocked the runway with my plane so no one else could either. An aviation accident was not going to be a memory for her special day.
I'm not trying to allow my flying passion to appear dangerous, but the reward vs disappointment ratio can really change for a lot of people, when X day becomes the life long memory of the day that A+B were killed. If you're flying there to surprise them, you did not fail to surprise them if you wisely turn back for poor weather - they weren't expecting you anyway. If they were expecting you, they'll understand. If you have to be there, going much earlier, or by a more common means is worthy of consideration...