Another tall tale
The story I like most is of a young pilot flying in Africa over several cannibal villages of witch doctors, voodoo practices, taboos and various witches.
His helicopter has an engine failure and he is forced to land near a village where he is captured. The village witch doctor tells him he would be returned to his squadron, IF he can answer a simple question. If he failed he would be cooked in a pot and eaten.
The question was ... "What do woman really want?"
The pilot spends days in thought, going over his many female friendships, conversations and past relationships going back many years. Like most pilots, he was unable to come up with the answer. He even went to the witch doctor's wife and asked if she could help. She liked the handsome pilot and said the only thing he could do was try the wise woman in the village.
When he found the wise woman's hut he was disgusted. She was old and ugly with a horrible twisted body. broken teeth, bad breath and matted hair. She smelled like a sewer.
The helicopter pilot had to save his life somehow, so steeling himself, he went in and asked if the ugly woman would give him the answer. She took an instant liking to the young man and said she would tell him ... if he married her and spent a month in her hut. She would want sex every night. If he kept her satisfied ... at the end of the month he would be set free.
The pilot agonised over his predicament, but had to agree. The ugly woman then told him .... "Woman want to take charge of everything and make all the decisions."
The pilot gave the answer to the witch doctor and the wedding was arranged.
On the wedding night, the young pilot entered the bridal chamber to find the most beautiful woman he had ever seen laying on the bed awaiting his attentions. "Where is the ugly woman." he asked.
"That is me ... you see I am a witch and I can be a beautiful woman for half the time, either by day or by night. You must now choose whether you want me to be beautiful ... by day or at night in our bed."
The pilot could see the problem and dare not upset the woman. But he was a clever pilot. "You can decide that," he said. Whereupon the woman replied ... "You have given me what I want and I will be beautiful for you for the whole month."
THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS; IF YOU DON'T GIVE A WOMAN WHAT SHE WANTS - THINGS WILL GET UGLY.
Go on ...laugh. Dennis Kenyon.