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Old 11th Jun 2003, 22:54
  #15 (permalink)  
The Equine One
 
Join Date: Jan 1999
Location: That sleazy motel down the road with your wife
Posts: 2
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Incapacitation Checklist for F/O:

1. Check vital signs to ensure death. PA for doctor to confirm death.
2. Note time. This is to ensure accurate command pay calculations.
3. Climb to FL410 then slow to min clean. This will maximise time in the air (see note 2).
4. Consider diverting to furthest suitable alternate (except that if destination is further, then continue as planned).
5. Amend seniority list by crossing Captain off, and also one or two others, like that b@stard who never lets you fly without constant patter as to how you should be doing it. Plonker.
6. Contact media by satphone and pass details. Make things up if required.
7. Land as you have done thousands of times before.
8. Bask in the glory
9. Appear upset at inquiry.
The Equine One is offline