Imagine just for a minute that the Russians actually like their culture, lifestyle, history and heritage, and are broadly proud of it after a lifetime exposure to news with a Russo-tinted slant.
Your long term opponent - who you've watched build up a series of military bases around the world - has annexed your former 'allies', and is now courting your neighbours. At some point you need to draw a line in the sand.
I spoke to a Kazakh mate a while back about this and he said the other satellite countries have always looked at Ukraine as the naughty cousin, while most of the rest are comforted by the Kremlin's security/structure/money. We need to view Ukraine as being akin to, say, Benelux or Mexico and I think Russia has shown quite a lot of restraint. The US have invaded and toted nukes for less over the years.
As for a solution, good question - Tymoshenko et al lifted the stone a year ago with talk of joining NATO etc and Russia couldn't let that happen. Nor does the West want it to happen, as a trigger happy Ukraine with big brother NATO confidence could easily suck us all in trying to reclaim the East or Crimea. I suspect the fix will be a DMZ for now, followed by more glacial economic absorbtion of Ukraine by the EU, but with them under strict instructions not to poke sticks at the bear.