It is up to the pilot and not the plane in becoming one.
Exactly!
When I was a machine shop apprentice, I used to like the fancy German Deckel machines, it made me think I knew what I was doing. The old timer would use any of the machines, including the lesser precision oriental ones, and make art. It was the machinist, not the machine.
I've noticed that some people more than others listen and feel, and succeed better as a result. They listen to and feel with other people, pets, the road in their car, and planes, and the things they do seem to work out well. Other people either have not learned to listen and feel yet, or just don't apply themselves, and end up not in harmony.
Although planes don't really have a mind of their own, they do have inertias and natural frequencies. Learning to sense these, and work with them, instead of across them moves a pilot much closer to being at one with the plane.
I was briefly trained to carry a load on a 200 foot "long line", under a helicopter - that's when you really begin to experience the need to be in harmony with natural frequencies! That load sure can get swaying if you are out of phase with it! I can change my piloting, but I cannot change inertia, and natural frequencies!